Don’t you just love how labels and identities work? They are so convenient and easy to use to try and make sense of an otherwise complex and diverse cultural world in which we live. We go around meeting people and within a nanosecond, we identify who they are (or who we think they are) based on a label or identity and make dozens of assumptions about their character and whether they are a friend or a foe.
The result of doing this is de-humanization. It means we don’t seek the deeper, more human part of a person. We just look at the label, make a judgment, dismiss them, and marginalize them. Done!
Here are some common ways that we do this:
Common Labels
Let’s start with the obvious and maybe less harmful one. You are a boomer? Oh, well, then you are….blah, b-blah, b-blah… Oh, you are a millennial? Then you must be blah, b-blah, b-blah….
I vigorously dislike the generational labels and identifiers that people use. I see them on Facebook a lot. These comments are usually made to denigrate a particular generation including everyone in that generation, to show the superiority of their generation.
I hear boomers talk about Gen X all the time. They are “lazy, self-centered, and entitled,” the implication being boomers are none of those things.
Boomers also like to talk about millennials. Millennials are “lazy, self-centered, and entitled”…oh yeah, that was Gen X. Well, all those younger generations are just “lazy, self-centered, and entitled.” We aren’t because we had to work so hard…so aren’t we great and superior?
The labels serve the purpose of creating stereotypes that enhance one’s own brand and cast judgment on another person or group of people, without ever getting to know them. This should give us a clue to the real purpose of labels and identities.
Religious identities are worse. Think about the mental image and judgments that come to your mind when you hear that someone is an atheist…an evangelical…a Christian Nationalist, a Catholic…a Muslim…or nothing at all. Of course, the mental image that each of these labels conjures depends on your religious label and identity. Each of these identities, although tied to very real beliefs, allows us to make snap judgments about someone before we know them. This goes on constantly.
Here is a little secret…you and I are not what our beliefs are. We think we are the totality of what we believe, but I assure you we are not.
Labels feed our divisions and “us v. them”
This is a human tendency that bends toward tribalism. It served us well when we were all hunter-gatherers, and the biggest concern was whether that tribe over the hill was friendly or hostile. An individual had to size them up quickly because any hesitation might make their investigation short-lived along with their life. So they looked for quick easy ways to find out who the “others” were.
Political identities are likely the most common labels and identities we use today, especially in an election year. We size each other up very quickly if someone is wearing a MAGA hat or a rainbow shirt. If someone says they are a Republican, there is a long list of assumptions about that person that immediately comes to mind. Within a few seconds, we’ve evaluated them, judged them, and dismissed them. We sized them up and determined they were hostile. No need to seek further information.
Same for a Democrat…no need to ask questions. They are immediately demonized and dismissed, because, well…they are Democrats, therefore, they must be “woke,” socialists, evil, and groomers.
Notice how quickly we can dehumanize people using these labels.
I Learned To Reject My Labels
Labeling identities was very much a part of my life growing up as an “evangelical.” I’ve had much experience with using them. That label “evangelical” itself is very illusive. An evangelical in the 1960s is not the same as an evangelical in the 2020s. But who cares about nuance?
I was taught that being “born again” meant you belonged to a special group of people…the saved, the redeemed, and those who were going to heaven. Those who weren’t born again were not any of those things.
So, as a young person, I began to look for qualitative differences between the born-again believers and the not-born-again pagans. I mean there must be a difference, right? I easily categorized and made assumptions about all these unsaved people whom I went to school with or met on the street because they didn’t have the “indwelling of the Holy Spirit” and I did. My brand must be better, or so I stupidly and naively thought.
This type of thinking was a breeding ground for arrogance and condescension toward the “other.” It is one of the reasons people are put off by fundamentalists today. They are so self-righteous and judgmental. But this type of arrogance isn’t just reserved for religious fundamentalists. Progressives can be just as judgmental and undiscerning. Trumpers can do it too. We all do.
It was well into my adult years when it began to dawn on me, after experiencing many church fights, church splits, church love affairs, gossip, and other types of conflicts that I concluded that evangelicals were no different than anyone else. The evangelical label meant very little. Evangelical was just a word that you could put on a badge and pin on your shirt to let people know what you believe, but it had nothing to do with the qualitative-substantial nature of your life. So, I dropped the label. It was the best thing I ever did.
I learned that we are all just humans…minus any label.
I had other identities growing up. I am a white male, Midwesterner, and came from a “broken home.” Think about all the assumptions you can make about me with each of those labels.
The power of the label is in its ability to make you behave in a certain way. Labels become self-fulfilling prophecies that direct our lives…until we don’t let them.
Don’t get me wrong, these labels and identities can be useful. I mean how else would we fill out applications, surveys, and government forms if we didn’t use these labels? But the insidiousness of labels and identities is that we come to believe that is what we are…the label. We lose connection with our true selves. We conflate our ego with the label, and then we do anything we can to make sure our team or our brand wins even at the expense of the “other.”
I am a white-Christian-Midwestern-baby boomer-divorced-teacher-remarried-retired male who is politically left of center and has no religious affiliation. Oh, I also have gray hair and a beard and wear glasses. I identify with a couple of college and pro football teams that will go unmentioned here so that you will finish reading the article. But I am not any of those labels…they do not describe the true essence of who I am. They are superficial, at best.
We Are Not Our Labels
But here is the truth. None of those labels define who I am. None of those labels will tell you about my true self. And none of your labels or identities define who you are. Perhaps they can describe some sort of general experience that you and I may have in common with others who have the same labels, but they don’t define us in any authentic, real way.
The labels that I have would not tell you anything about my character, my soul, or my purpose in life. They would not tell you about the pain and joys I’ve had in my life, the goals and aspirations that I have, or the trip to Scotland I’m looking forward to this summer.
What is sad is that we settle for the labels. We settle for judging people and allowing people to judge us by our labels and identities. And we pay a steep price for doing so. And in some cases, it costs people their lives because of it.
Racism is a Costly Label
Many times, using a label to describe someone allows us to dehumanize them. Consider the “N” word. It is an awful term used by white people to strip the essential humanity away from Black people and it opens the door to abuse and atrocities. Or consider the label “illegal immigrant.” This label allows people to strip humanity from those trying to come into our country so that they can justify subhuman treatment.
Racial identities are still a troublesome issue for white Americans. There is so much unconscious bias based on the skin color of another person that it causes us to act or react in predictable ways. That is why “colorblindness” is a myth…it doesn’t exist. We all see color and we all react in unconscious ways that we have been trained to do.
In the brain of every white person is a script or program that has been bequeathed to each of us that tells us two things: we are superior because we have white skin, and we are to fear those who have black or brown skin. We don’t even realize it is there, but it is. We didn’t ask for it, but we have it. I did not give my consent to have this script, but I do. It is the ultimate label and identity…and most white people would like to pretend it isn’t there, because it isn’t chic to be a racist. But denial doesn’t make it disappear.
I have had to wrestle with the demon of my white supremacist script, and I believe every white person needs to do so. (I have a book coming out later this year that describes my journey).
For years I thought I was a good person because, you know, I wasn’t a “racist.” God-forbid. But unconsciously I still had a white supremacist script that directed my unconscious motives and behavior. It wasn’t until I finally left the church and began a deconstruction of my identity as an evangelical that I could see the script clearly for what it was.
Human…the Only Label We Need
Here is the big idea of this rather rambling post today. When I deconstructed my evangelical mindset, I learned that there was only one identity and one label that made a difference of any kind. I learned that first and foremost, I am a human being. Period! Full stop!
This may seem obvious and not very profound to say that I am a human, but the trick is to learn to put that identity BEFORE any other. This is a subtle shift that leads to profound results. It is a process of rehumanizing ourselves and the people we encounter.
Training my mind to see myself as a human with no other identifier is not an easy task. Thinking of myself as a human who happens to have white skin, a human who happens to be male, or a human who happens to have no religious affiliation, is a difficult process. We are so used to defining ourselves by the labels that we have adopted or been given.
What is it for you? Retraining your brain to place the word human before any other label is harder than you might think. Are you a MAGA Republican? Or are you a human who happens to ascribe to MAGA Republicanism? Are you a Democrat? Or are you a human being who happens to ascribe to the ideals of the Democratic Party?
This change makes a huge difference. It allows us to begin a conversation or friendship with the most important thing we have in common…our humanity.
All of us are connected by our humanity. Everything else is secondary. But until we prioritize our connected identities as humans, we will evaluate and pre-judge people and never overcome our divisions and differences. The divisions and differences are much less important than our common connection as fellow humans.
Prioritizing Our Common Humanity
If we can prioritize our common human character and connections to each other, we will begin to stop making snap judgments about people and learn that we must get to know them first. This can lead to real friendships with people who don’t think the way we do.
All of us have the same needs and aspirations as humans. Humans all have the same need for love, security, friendship, support, and understanding from others. Labels get in the way of fulfilling those needs. Prioritizing our humanness will open the door to a whole new array of people whom we have heretofore dismissed.
What begins to happen when we make a connection with someone as a human first, and nothing else, it overcomes the labels and identities that we think are so important that have kept us from having contact or relationship with that person. The human-to-human connection allows us to still argue, talk, share, and disagree without losing sight of the importance of the humanness of the other person. But it is difficult if not impossible to hate them.
You can’t hate a person when you have a connection to their humanness. This is how we are going to overcome hate…by moving the label “human” in front of every person we meet. Establish a connection to them by understanding them, getting to know them, and letting love become the natural outgrowth of that connection. Love is the answer, but by reducing the labels and identities we use to judge and dismiss people and rehumanize them… that will create the conditions for love to emerge.
Good article. Very true.
Looking forward to reading your book.